Hey everyone! In case you didn’t hear, some crazy people were questioning Amazon’s workplace environment this week. Several of us workers who really love our jobs tried to make Twitter accounts to tell the world just how much we love Amazon, but we were falsely accused of being “shitty bots” and things of that nature. I can assure you that not only am I real, but also that I really love my job at the Amazon warehouse, and I’m here to tell you why.
1) The Flexible Hours
Every week, I get to decide if I’d rather my 22 hour shift be on Monday or Tuesday. Heck, sometimes I end up doing it both days, free of charge, just because I’m so grateful that they let me pick.
2) The Autonomy
My bosses really give me the time and space to work on my own. Heck, sometimes they even force me to learn how to work on my own by threatening to not pay me if I stop to talk to anyone else during my shift. They really care a lot about my professional development!
3) My Boss Really Listens to Me
Some bosses are hands off and don’t pay this much attention to detail, but not mine. My boss makes me wear a microphone to record everything I say during my shift because she cares so much!
4) It Feels Like Home
Heck, sometimes my shift ends at 6:00am and my next one starts at 8:00am so I sleep here! And my warehouse managers are so welcoming - they even let me sleep on the ground and use a flattened box as a blanket - it might be even more comfortable than my real bed.
5) Growth Opportunities
I was only packing small items when I first started, but I’ve gradually moved to bigger items, like trying to pack nightstands by myself. Having to lift such large items without any help has really forced my muscles to grow!
6) Stock Options
Not every company offers their warehouse employees stock options, but Amazon gives me the option to stock things both alphabetically or by product ID.
7) Discounted Prime Membership
Some of you chumps are paying $119 a year for a Prime membership, but not me. As an employee, I get a sweet discount, and my membership is only $115! I can’t wait to use the Prime Video app and watch Marvelous Miss Maisel one of these days when I get some free time.
8) The Free Stuff!
Where do you think all those returns you send back go? Us warehouse workers get first dibs on any products that are sent back and deemed completely defective! I’ve got a really cool collection of bike lights that don’t shine all thanks to this sweet job.
9) Free Access to the Delivery Vans
You know those striking blue vans that deliver packages to your neighborhood seven times a day? Us warehouse workers are so fortunate that we get to use those vans whenever we want - for free! The only catch is that we have to deliver 30 packages per hour while we use them and have to pay for our own gas.
10) The Pee Breaks
Ok, I know this has been a joke on the internet this week that us Amazon workers don’t get to stop and pee during our shifts, but I can assure you that’s not true. We do get to pee during our shifts. As a matter of fact, one of my best friends at work is Lawrence, the guy with the stop watch and clipboard in the men’s room!
You see, guys, working at Amazon isn’t anything like the news makes it out to be. I, a real worker, love my job in the warehouse, and you shouldn’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. As my boss always says, “That’s why you shouldn’t be talking to anyone else”. I love my job!