This week, we saw a new development in the US’s Covid landscape. Rather than being for or against the vaccine that saves lives, people are simply choosing not to give their thoughts at all, citing that any questions about vaccinations are a violation of HIPAA rights. While that’s completely false, I like where their heads are at, so here are some other questions that you shouldn’t ask me due to HIPAA.
What’s that smell?
Can you do the splits?
What happens when you eat dairy?
Did you mean to leave your sideburns that long for all of 8th grade?
Come here often?
How do you think you would fare in a fast-paced, startup environment?
Why didn’t you wear sunscreen when you went to the beach on a 97 degree in Alabama?
Why did you and the boy who sat next to you have all the same answers in 10th grade chemistry?
Did you remember to lock the front door?
Boobs or butts?
Would you like to leave an additional tip on top of the already added gratuity?
What do you think of people who rely heavily on astrology to make their decisions?
Do you secretly wish that you took breakdancing classes when you were younger so that from time to time you could show off those skills like Leonardo DiCaprio does?
How’s your golf game?
Do you come from the land down under?
Did you really think Mean Girls was that funny as a child or did you just watch it all the time because you had a crush on 3 of the characters?
What word did you misspell in the regional spelling bee finals that prevented you from going to Nationals?
Did you spend several years of your childhood secretly hoping that you would get lost in a jungle and end up being raised by a protective group of wolves like Mowgli did?
How much of a role do you think Communism is playing in the downfall of Cuba?
Are you worried that climate change will destroy the earth before your favorite sports team wins another title?
What happened to the footage from Epstein’s cell?
Are you secretly concerned that every automatic sensor in bathrooms is actually a spy camera?
If you eat brunch before 11 isn’t it just breakfast?
How many episodes of The Masked Singer have you watched?
You ate how many slices of pizza at afterprom?
Obviously, for legal reasons, it’s in your best interest to not ask me any of these. If you choose to ignore my rights, I’ll take you right to court.