To Our Valued Customers,
It has come to my attention that there has been a national surge of customers purchasing Ivermectin Horse Wormer Paste (Apple-flavored) as a treatment option for Covid-19. This paste, as indicated by the packaging, is not intended to be used by humans, but rather as a preventative treatment for worms for horses. There is no scientific evidence that this paste has any effect on Covid-19, and we ask that no one attempt to purchase Ivermectin from Tractor Supply Co. for anything other than its intended use.
Unfortunately, the honor system has not been working out great for us (or the country as a whole), so Tractor Supply Co. will be implementing a new policy - effective immediately - regarding Ivermectin Horse Wormer Paste. From now on, all of our locations will require proof of horse ownership to purchase Ivermectin.
What qualifies as proof of horse ownership in this instance? That’s an excellent question, and one that I never thought I’d have to answer but have spent far too much time thinking about in the last week. I mean seriously, I have spent so much time thinking about this just so people don’t eat horse goop. This is what I came up with as sufficient proof:
Option 1: Paperwork establishing ownership
Something written and official that establishes possession. Like a pink slip for your horse. Do those exist? I don’t know, my family had tractors growing up.
Option 2: A selfie on a horse
Not a selfie with a horse. A selfie on a horse. I know some of you cowboys and girls may hop on a stranger’s horse and take a selfie as a loophole to this rule, but I’m going to make a bet that there aren’t that many people out there who know how to ride horses that also want to eat their worm medication.
Option 3: Just bring the actual horse
Preferably not into the actual store, but rather get one of our worker’s attentions and take them out to the parking lot and show them.
I understand this policy change is a pain in the ass, but asses are close relatives to horses and people are literally eating their worm medicine right now. I mean, really, what is the draw here? Is it the apple flavoring? That can’t be the big sell here - surely people would just eat an apple instead.
If some Facebook post told people that eating manure was a treatment for Covid-19 would these same people start showing up to our stores to eat it and use the gardening spades as little spoons? I don’t know. I haven’t slept much this week, for understandable reasons. I run a chain that sells swaths of heavy machinery, yet the reason I’m having to hire a security staff for my stores right now is because a bunch of grown adults are yelling at my workers about their constitutional right to snack on horse meds. This has been the dumbest week ever.
So, yeah, bring your proof of horse ownership from now on or no goop for you. Get it? That was a little Seinfeld reference. I need a nap. If you hear a rumor that Menards has Ivermectin for a lower price, you didn’t hear it from me.
Signed,
Hal Lawton, CEO