Sure, 2021 is the year of weddings, but are you really ready to get back out there and make the most of them like you used to? Many of us have forgotten how to behave at weddings, and especially as a plus 1 who may not know many people there, it’s incredibly important to make a good, memorable impression. With these ten tips, no one will ever forget that you attended their special day.
1. Find the camera
If the couple didn’t want to see your face, they wouldn’t have invited you. Cement yourself in the couple’s minds by being absolutely all over their wedding photographs. Rather than letting the camera find you, go find the camera and make sure to be in as many pictures as possible - regardless of context. And a pro tip: don’t be afraid to hang around the children! You may feel a little creepy, but the photographers always love them!
2. Stand on the edge of the dance floor and sing along (loudly) with the songs played for the first dances
Maybe some other guests will join you, but maybe (hopefully) not. Let it rip while the bride dances with her father and every time they hear these songs that mean so much to them, they’ll think of you and how you managed to nail the second verse.
3. Throw rice at the bride and groom
For whatever reason, this seems to be less prevalent at modern weddings. Throwing rice at the couple is a timeless tradition and - even if the hosts didn’t plan on it - they’d love for you to do it. I don’t head to a wedding without a 3 pound sack of long grain in my bag.
4. Give the bride and groom a gift card to a very specific place
Anyone can give a check, but you want to give something so much more personal! Find a restaurant that they enjoyed on a beach vacation several years ago and get them a $400 gift card to that place. Now, they’ll think of you every time they go there over the next 15 years to try and spend the entire balance of the card.
5. Give a speech
This seems bold as someone who may not know the married couple well, but you’ve got to swing for the fences. One strategy I’ve found that works incredibly well is to thank the parents of the bride for having you, thank them for having sex at one point and bringing their child into the world, and lastly, take a moment to thank the troops for their service. The crowd goes nuts every time.
6. Spend the whole night trying to convince someone from the bridal party that you know them from somewhere
“Did we get drunk and sleep together once in Nashville?”
“Did you used to be a dog groomer at (insert name of place where you get your dog groomed)?”
“Did I wait behind you in line for a roller coaster once”?
…are all great questions to ask throughout the night.
7. Take one of the platters of food from the buffet when no one’s looking, run away with it, then when someone eventually says “Where’s the green bean casserole?”, show up from the other side of the room and say “Guys, I found it!” and be the hero.
This trick becomes less effective if you’re going to multiple weddings with similar groups of people, as it starts to become suspicious that a platter of food goes missing at every wedding.
8. Tell the DJ that you’re an audio engineer and you can watch over the booth if they need to go to the bathroom and then put on “Your Love” by The Outfield on single repeat and change the password to their computer so it’s the only song everyone hears for the rest of the night.
It’s the best song ever made and everyone will be so grateful to not have to hear the Cha Cha Slide.
9. Go in the bathroom, dip your arm into the toilet bowl, make up a story about how the bride or groom dropped their ring in the toilet and you fished it out, then go out of your way to tell people that that’s why your arm is soaking wet.
Just try and avoid this rumor spreading too far, as the bride and groom will be able to debunk your tale, but lots of guests will remember the story of the hero that went ring fishing.
10. Get licensed to drive a commercial bus before you leave for the wedding, slip a sedative into the bus driver’s water bottle as you get off the shuttle to the wedding, then when you all return to the bus and the driver is sleeping and unable to be woken up and drive back to the hotel, you let everyone know that you’re actually a licensed bus driver and you can get everyone home safely, then drive everyone home safely, but in the process make a stop at a McDonald’s or Krispy Kreme so everyone can get a fun, late-night treat and remember it as the best bus ride ever
I know, I know, this one isn’t as helpful because not all weddings have a shuttle bus service, but it’s incredibly effective in the cases where a shuttle bus is present.
If you can just remember to do 7-8 of these at every wedding you attend, people will love having you as a guest, and you’re sure to be invited to many more weddings to come.