Dear Management,
As I’m sure you all know, (REDACTED) has decided to ask all employees to return to the office in-person starting on July 1st. While I respect leadership’s decision, I hope to illustrate in this letter why I believe that allowing us to work remotely forever would be a more beneficial decision.
First and foremost, my concerns about returning to the office are regarding employee safety. While I’m vaccinated myself, I fear that not all our colleagues have been as cautious with regards to Covid and getting vaccinated. This week, one of my team members (whose name I won’t mention), posted a meme on Facebook that read “Those of us who didn’t get vaccinated” and it showed a picture of people celebrating in the streets after the end of World War 2. Then, on the bottom, it said “The people who did get vaccinated”, and it was a picture of Bill Gates holding an Xbox controller and a herd of sheep - the implication was that he was controlling everyone with an Xbox controller. Suffice to say, I’m not sure that person has been vaccinated.
And while we’re on the topic of safety, have you ever heard of car wrecks? There’s a chance people could get in wrecks on the way to the office – it would be a real shame if people died because of this decision to return to in-person working. For the sake of employees’ safety and your conscience, it seems much more ideal to not go into the office.
The next thing I’d like to address is the amount of time that could be saved. We have all really loved the amount of time we’ve earned back each day by not having to commute to the office. For me, that means two hours a day that I get back – and it’s been an absolute game changer. I’ve been able to go to the gym more, I watched Downton Abbey all the way through three separate times during the pandemic, and most importantly, I’ve been able to take baths every morning instead of showers. You wouldn’t believe the good that a half hour soak does for you in the morning compared to a 5 minute shower. If we continue to stay remote – we could all soak all the time and be a happier workforce.
And that brings me to my next point, team morale. Since we began working from home, morale is as high as I can recall in my time working here. You see, we like seeing our coworkers… in small doses. When we’re forced to spend 40+ hours a week in an office together, we can really get on each other’s nerves. With Zoom, though, there’s always the option to pretend that you’re having internet problems and leave the call (and your coworker who’s annoying you).
I mean, if we’re being completely honest, if we have to go back to the office every day, I think we’re going to all hate each other. We had a park meetup a couple weeks ago, and there were so many jarringly long silences. It was torturous. None of us had a word to say to each other. And when we were talking, one coworker (whose name I won’t mention, but it’s the same person as before), started talking about how the election was going to get overturned because of the recount in Arizona, and it was really, really awkward. I would’ve loved the option to hit the ‘Leave Meeting’ button on that conversation and teleport back to my home office where I could watch more Downton Abbey. But guess what? I couldn’t. Instead, I had to listen to an 18 minute monologue about discrepancies in Maricopa County. If we go remote, we could stop hanging out in person and just be digital coworkers and stop pretending to be real life friends.
Another factor that I’m sure is important is the cost savings, and I’m not sure how that wouldn’t tilt in favor of remote work. Not only could we save on not paying for an office, but there are so many costs you could cut too, like not having to pay for paper and ink every time I print an Amazon return label at work. I’ve had to suck it up and go to Kinkos to print during the pandemic, and it pains me to pay $3.55 to print a single label, but it sure as hell beats going into the office and having to deal with stuff like my coworker (same one) trying to microwave sushi for lunch on Tuesdays. I will happily go to Kinkos to print for the rest of my life if it means I don’t have to smell that wretched smell ever again.
I have really enjoyed the sense of autonomy that I’ve been given while working from home, and I hope you’ll consider my request to remain remote in perpetuity. When you consider the financial implications, the effects on team morale, and the potential car crashes, it seems almost reckless to send us all back into the office. I’m begging you all, please take a bath and reconsider.
I appreciate you taking the time to consider my note, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. See you later (or as they say in Downton Abbey, “Cheers”).
Signed,
A Concerned Employee
P.S. Every time I referenced a coworker in this letter it was Janet from HR. If you let her go I might consider returning to the office.